StarTribune give away funny flavored lip balms. They've had bacon balm (tasted like Mrs. Butterworth syrup), brat balm (tasted like dill mustard), and buttered corn balm (simply delicious!).
This year I asked one of the balm distributors how many tubes they order each year and was told, "That is classified information."
Not satisfied with her answer, I pressed further, "So, you don't actually know the number, do you?"
My question only served to annoy lip balm lady. "I do know."
Summarily dismissed, I walked away with a tube of cut grass balm (tasted like a warm spring breeze) in my fanny pack and a curious head full of questions.
Where do these mysterious balms come from? Who thinks up these flavors? How many more flavors can they possibly create? How do I collect every odd flavor ever to fill a plastic cylinder?
A weekend visit to our handy Ax-Man Surplus store fulfilled my wildest heavenly lip balm fantasies. For $1.95 each I could fill a dozen fanny packs with flavors like mac and cheese, chocolate milkshake, and popcorn.
I feel like the secrets of the weirdly flavored lip balm world are suddenly open to me.
At Called to the Table today another secret is revealed: where did the lobster egg rolls stashed in my high school friend Sarah's freezer come from? Hmm... lobster egg roll lip balm, anyone?