Wednesday, September 2, 2015

State Fair Diaries: Coen Bros. versus State Fair quotes

The matching bruises on my inner forearms tell a sad story. They are evidence that I've spent too many hours sitting on benches throughout the State Fairgrounds with my elbows cocked up over the backrests. What keeps me sitting hour after hour? Eavesdropping on conversations.

This has been a particularly colorful year for State Fair eavesdropping. Lots of controversy (rapeseed Bill Cosby and a naughty corn dog removed from the seed art exhibit; a protest, cancelled parade, and possibly spurious Black Lives Matter t-shirt sales) and yet the juiciest quotes I hear come from the 4H barns.

It is difficult to differentiate Minnesota speakers from characters in a Coen Brothers movie, and the Minnesota State Fair is full of inspirational quotes. Can you tell where these came from?

1. [dad asking vendor about the balloons he bought] These blow up into funny shapes and all?
[vendor] Well no... unless round is funny.
2. [woman to friend] Someone broke that kid.
[friend] Naw, she aint broke. Just her spirit is.
3. Oh, I just think I'm gonna barf... Well, that passed. Now I'm hungry again.
4. I'm just gonna go find a cash machine. 
5. Well, yah, you know, we covered that whole thing with limestone and you couldn’t even tell there was something buried there.
6.  Mind if I sit down? I'm carrying quite a load here.
7.  Well, the little guy was kinda funny-lookin'.
8.  Is this a... what day is this?
9.  Hey, careful, man, there's a beverage here!
10. Say, her cakes are very competitive.
11. I'm staying. Finishing my coffee.
12. He just ate - he didn't finish! He's goin' to McDonalds instead of finishin' here.
13.[not Glen] Need a beer, Glen?
[Glen] Does the Pope wear a funny hat? 
14. Due to the spring in her rib shape I am willing to forgive the flatness of her rack. However I am OK with leaving her in the hole for third place because of the sharpness of number 1 and the steepness of her hips.
15. You got any more of that good sarsaparilla?


Answers:
1. Raising Arizona; 2. MN State Fair near beer garden; 3. Fargo; 4. The Big Lebowski; 5. MN State Fair in Merchandise Mart; 6. Fargo; 7. Fargo; 8. The Big Lebowski; 9. The Big Lebowski; 10. MN State Fair in Creative Activities; 11. The Big Lebowski; 12. Fargo; 13. Raising Arizona; 14. rough adaptation from MN State Fair at meat goat testing; 15. The Big Lebowski.



















 


 



 


 

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