With the news last week that Katie has finally come out of her Scientology-induced coma and is divorcing Tom, I went to my happy place - back to a decade known for its pre-Crazy Town Cruise. With 4th of July and obligatory patriotism pending, I glanced over at T and declared, "I feel the need..." T looked my way and together we chanted, "I FEEL THE NEED FOR SPEED!" An enthusiastic high-five became our unspoken agreement to spend the afternoon watching Top Gun.
In the 1980s Americans lived with false enemies (the Russians are coming!) and gilded self-importance (America! F yeah! Ooops wrong decade, same sentiment). We saw a lot of movies bemoaning our involvement in Vietnam and bragged that we'd never again enter a war without questioning our leaders. We were secure with the belief that our military was comprised of super heroes with movie star good looks, who played volleyball on the beach (Shirtless, unless they were scrawny. Goose, thankfully, kept his tank on.), and moved through life with a worthy Kenny Loggins soundtrack. If our military heroes bent the rules occasionally in the air (giving the inverted bird to a bogey) and on the ground (one admiral's daughter, Penny Benjamin), that was OK with us. They defended Americans from a sky glutted with MIGs. And they understood the aerodynamics involved in hitting the breaks so that our enemies would fly right by.
T claims that Top Gun is best enjoyed with surround sound blaring and patriotic messages ignored. I believe that Top Gun is best enjoyed with a crappy cold bottle of Budweiser and a Slider. Fancier types may prefer dining on Russian blinis topped with Gooseberries. Make the event really special by chain smoking cigarettes and cigars indoors, and wear your mirrored Ray-Ban Aviators at night, also indoors. Freshen your breath with some Carefree Sugarless Bubblegum. Afterwards, command your guests to take you to bed or lose you forever. I wonder if Katie demanded that from Tom.
July 4th extends into the coming weekend and our celebration continues. The 4th of July is a reminder to kids that there are still two months left of summer. Don't waste it! Called to the Table this week is an ode to childhood 4ths and Orange Crush.